My personal beginnings for my love of Macramé:

I’ve always been surrounded by arts and crafts.

Probably more the craft side of things. Basically "if someone else could do it then why can't we?". My Oma would say. I'm not sure if that’s where I got that part of me. I didn't realize until my most recent years that I believed this. I can try at anything and if I work hard enough then I can master it. I can lay flooring, tear down walls, shingle a roof, build stuff and whatever else…

That is until I get bored or get hooked on the next new craft adventure. Not until recently did I learn (amongst many other things but that’s for another post on another day) that this is a trait of Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) basically if I am not 100% obsessed with what I am doing then it’s an actual fight in my brain to pay attention. I am learning now how to de-mask and label out-loud with my loved ones what I am feeling or fighting, mentally.

Anyway, years pass and boys, college (at an art college) turned into an honours degree as an ECE (Early Childhood Educator), babies and increasing major mental health concerns get worse and worse while getting married to my college sweetheart and then having children.

You can say Macramé has saved me. It’s always been here with me to guide me when I couldn’t attend to the world and to my feelings.

My Oma and Opa had a boat so therefore that went into my parents and they had boats so I’m sure you can guess… Yup! Practicing knotting. My mum was fascinated with different knots and I thought it was a magic trick how she could make the cord into a monkeys fist or a double loop knot. To tie off the boats we were taught to do a Cleat Hitch (I didn’t even know until just now that it was a real knot lol)

All the while, my Oma knit faster than I’ve ever seen still to this day. You could hear the “tick, tick, tick, tick’ consistent tempo of her needles. My mum crocheted (still does) and my Oma taught me to sew at a crazy young age. When I say taught me I mean she sat me at the sewing machine and said “Go ahead but don’t break it!” I didn’t understand the knobs or dials but Oma would fix it and oil it and make it good so I could sew all the barbie clothes a girls could dream about.

Back to macramé…the natural desire to attend to something that was MINE, that could be manipulated to do and be ANYTHING, to be different but also BEAUTIFUL. I didn’t like depending on crochet hooks and knitting needles and I’ve always been a dirty little, blond hair, brown eyed, bare foot, tanned skin, tree hugger. I love trees and nature and the forest. The smell of the forest scallions, broken twigs and snakes and worms at my feet and ankles, the forests carpet (moss) and the twinkling sun through the multi coloured greens raining down on me. I could tie anything! Not just cotton cord but the long green onions, the green of lily leaves and young vines. 

When I say Macramé saved me, it was during a particularly low part in my mental health state. My dad passed away from terminal pancreatic cancer so quickly and suddenly in August 2019. He kept saying to me in those last months “just do what YOU want to do” “Do it because you want to” “Do what you love” He wasn’t talking about Macramé. He was talking about all of the things I do, all the people I care about and how hard I work all the time but I never took care of me….much the same as himself. (glad you cant see my ugly tears right now) I miss him more than I can put in words.

So like any classic grieving story I was lost in obligation, fear and concern that I would never be happy the way my dad wanted for my but I also feared leaving my children behind as I became sick with toxic anxieties and mental incapacities. With professional help, my children and the love of my life, its all a practice to bring it all together.

Audio books from audible, music to heal the spirit and music to sing to, all while producing knot after knot. So many ideas in my head and I have to constantly remind myself that, I can’t in-fact do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I can work my hardest and try and its okay to fail because that is how we learn! PERFECT is not real!! MISTAKES are where the learning happens and where we build memories and vulnerabilities and connections.

I used to think “I AM NOT A PERFECTIONIST because I am the furthest from perfect!” but it’s not true. I always thought I was a failure because I was never perfect and therefore would give up. So I am a perfectionist because I thought just that. I am a pro at getting out knots. Macramé is forgiving, its never permanent, you can always add cord or take it off.

My personal twist is my love for nature. How could I then ‘tie” it all together? (pun not intended lol)

Someone once said to me “its not personal” and I put my foot down immediately and said “if its not personal then what makes it special? What makes it different and relatable?”

I don’t know the answer but I know that it is personal. As long as we are lifting each other up, sharing stories and making things together instead of tearing each other apart then its not just personal its connection!!

I’m not very good at the social stuff but if you want to talk nature, macramé, arts and children then lets hang out! Lets chat! Lest create!

My goal this week is to make a macramé skirt. One small goal at a time. The secret to progress is to simply get started!

I would love to hear your stories! Again I’m not a pro at social stuff but I am an excellent audience and learner. Lets share and create @naturenspires